first blog

Hi. So as I sit here at my kitchen table in my pajamas at 11am I finally feel compelled to write. And for some reason I don't feel like using my MySpace's blog function. Oh well.

Today I have a job interview. I've been out of work so long that I think I would take a job mucking stables as long as it guaranteed a paycheck. It's ridiculous and kinda sad. I actually liked my job with JCPenny. I got to play with cameras worth more than my combined net-worth, and little kids. But hours are money, and when you haven't had hours in three weeks....well steps must be taken. Maybe around holidays I'll a few hours in here and there.

So yes, job interview today, this comes on the heels of the news I got on Saturday...that the University of Delaware has rejected me again. I'm not even sure how to process it at this point. It's hard to maintain belief in your own intelligence when the edvidence against it keeps stacking up. And with my back-up plan of taking a few more art classes from DelTech also out of range....well I'm feeling kinda lost.
I need to finish my degree, there's not even a question about that because there is no chance of getting started in the career I want without it. But even since my last semester at Elon (the school i went to North Carolina, that i left because i couldn't afford living expenses) it seems as if everything in life is working against my education. I know I need to finish, and I know i want to finish. I just wish I had some guidelines to go by. So someone who's already in the field or has worked in the field to talk to. Anyway that's what I'm looking for right now.

Trying to stay positive. Trying to find motivation. It shouldn't be this hard to simply have faith in yourself and to want to achieve your goals. But right now I think I'm moving forward for Adam more than myself. And maybe that's enough for right now. Poor Adam, I rely so much on him.

But first things first. Job interview today. Here's hoping.